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Stockholm • 25 Feb 2020
   3°C  cloudy, some soft hail showers


The Tide of Times. 1995-2000

My journey continues with scanning large amounts of film negatives. I just finished some films from 1995 as well year 2000. The latter I realized is another one of those "forgotten" years, yet filled with meetings, strange feelings, good feelings, confusion, forced emotional separations of an old "lovebite" from 1996, and an eager plunge into the new world of online communication and dates (Sylvester, QX)

Well and of course the absolutely chaotic subway (the period of 1998-2000 was the worst in modern history when they installed "the new safety system" - where everything that could go wrong - went wrong. It really was an extreme time - and i believe everyone was taken aback) I started to work at the subway in Feb 1998.

It is funny how much I have pushed those images to dark forgotten corners of my mind. Not that I don't remember, but never dealt with the photography I made, nor really thought of who I met etc. Then suddenly - they all come alive.  Just like that... And with it; the memories, the spectrum of more or less vague feelings, forgotten emotions, thoughts and reflections.

It's all in there... you know.


I absolutely love Jonas' smile in the photo above

It's so like him, from a most sincere solid on the ground standing kind of guy.




A sudden, very alive 'confrontations'

It's like a concentrated, sudden confrontation with that time. Strange. Interesting. Weird. Ambivalent. Actually there is also sorrow present in me. I fail to mention that in all this work of scanning negatives - and we are talking about people who lived 25-30 years back in time - I feel a mix of sorrow and mild grief.

When I realize that those I see now so sudden, so alive and sharp - were people as much as 20 years away back in time - and so removed from this timeline (from my perspective).

Images I never fully dealt with. They just existed as "contact sheets", where you put negatives onto a sheet of BW photopaper - and then it goes into one of the many archives filled to the brim with many others.

It does not seem that long time ago - feeling more like 12-13 years - definitely not 20 years.

So, there is also sorrow lingering in the background. I take it as something natural - because this sorrow today is a tiny fraction of the sorrow i felt (for other reasons) back in time. The difference is monumental.

Today the strings of sorrow I sometimes feel, are mild. They have an aura of acceptance, and not chaos or "going against the tide".



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