18 May 2020 @ 19.00  |  Stockholm, Snösätra
10°C • Overcast. Rainy


Choices and Perspectives

I just sent the above photo to Johannes. It was also taken at the same lake back in July 1996. He loved the photo. And it is funny, because his reaction back in 1996 over those made by the lake - very very different. He saw a guy with fatty layers bobbing around his body. I was of course disappointed, and tried to explain for him what I saw. Well, he didn't see that.

I see the same now, of what I saw 24 years ago.

This is a hunky masculine naked guy, 50 years of age in the photo - and there is a pleasant softness in it. Hunky masculine, but not in a forced way we often see men in modern photos today.


It's just a guy who lies down at the lake

I think in my photography, I did adapt to a Scandinavian sensuality. It used to have a natural sense of nudity, which really wasn't a big deal up there. Nature people. With a great sense to nature, being connected to it.

So, I believe that I portrayed nude men in that sensual nordic no-frills style.

Natural in the sense of nothing is over the top. (perhaps the Scandinavian photographers changed that style, because they felt it was too lame and boring. So they adapted to this digital "german" style (especially for the ladies) - which looks often staged and "clumsy" to my eye.

The Nordic style used to be more a "primitive" nature type of images - without frills or too much staging. Sensuality was also defined my nude photos of other people (often friends or people I knew a little at least) Perhaps it was my way of being, too, being by nature extremely shy, so I wouldn't alter people too much (Exceptions did apply). But I like what often turned out to be natural.


I think I did beautiful work.

Even if they may never match international or popular photographers... Perhaps it is just my own niche of personal photography. But I really do like it, and would not wanted to have done i any different back then.

Of course my models have gotten direction from me - but at the same time, not very much. I rather told them to keep a position when I felt it looked nice. They were creating their own content in their own way - which is easy, natural - and not always so exciting looking compared to "modern" photography of the 2010 and 2020.


We lost a bit of that natural being in our modern photography

I think we have to go back, partially, to our roots of human nature and being. So that images contain also a kind of humanity, without the guy in it, looks like a super model, super packed with defined muscles.

i mean who looks like that - and still be a natural kind of next door guy ? Most guys who are into super selfie mode, training and showing their muscles and dick... how long can you stay with a guy like that ? And how long is the attention span of a guy, who is mostly into himself ?


Double the Pride, twice the fall.

We have allowed, as well allowed ourselves to et carried away by so much shit. But the shit usually comes in the shape of many promises. And once touched by that power of energy you get (also from others) - well who doesn't like to attract others - it's only natural. Where does it stop ?

When forced, it becomes obsession and addiction.

And who claim that they are not victim of their own success and perceived power though their gorgeous looks, muscles and shapes.... well, you know how the story goes about drug and booze addicts. They are the last one to admit.


Kings & Queens.
The wanting, The choosing. The selected

How far have we been willing to manipulate ourselves, just in order to get laid, or/and to get the power of approval and admiration of others, so we basically have developed ourselves into being kings and queens - who can choose the pralines out of the masses. Have a little taste and go on to the next.

Yeah show me the guy who admits that deep from within. That that plays a roll too.

Know thy self

So, what I mean is, we should remember the "old" again - the natural nature of just being - and mix it into the present forced style how we portray men and women today. Being less driven, and show more of what we are, even if you use photo tools in a conscious, targeted way.

That we are humans, not just self promoted brands. The latter seem to have taken over the planet. But also that will come to an end. I do not even have to fuzz about it...


Erase and rewind

Here is the thing; the staged and over the top masculine definition of portraying men - just starts to get tedious, being more stage than guy being in the photos. And of course, the opposite is almost as terrible; guys being the new genderless beings, more like women or transgender....

I see a lot of transgender, but I am not sure if they are happy beings. Some seem to be. But some also seem to be unhappy and live a mediocre way of life, which doesn't attract the ones into their live they wished or hoped for. I go to porn clubs / cinemas. I am not blind.

From what I have seen and experienced so far - I don't think that transgender persons are very successful in getting laid. It may work for young beings - but then it does not so much. Then there are a few animals who are so extremely nipped, tucked and patched up - like a "Super Thai Transgender Woman" or something from a Comic book or from a Grandiose Theatre Stage figure - beautiful in their own right - but also far removed from anything that looks, acts or lives natural (being one with ones heart).

Usually they are so into themselves, with an attention span of a millisecond, and on top so loud and aggressive  that if you raise a word - you get a verbal machine gun attack.

So, I sometimes wonder... what's their thing ? Purpose in life ? Who do I attracted in that way being like that ? And what is it I truly get ? What is it they hold ?

And how does all that work out for when you get older ?

Was it all just an experiment then ?

And there is a majority of transgenders - who are not glamorous looking, but rather look like aged, old, tragic figures, trying to get around in the scene. I often get this strong sensation of that they are not comfortable in their skin. There is always that strong ambivalence present. Like a person whose one part is defending his/her choice, and one who is trying to hide it, or even want to run out of his/her shell.


In the End

If anything, then it might as simple as that they choose to live that experience.

That I can understand.

- 81 -