I have scanned A LOT

more color negatives - and yet, there are so many more left to scan, still. Olof was of course a favorite "model" in 1993-94, as was Per-Olof during 1992-93 - yet both so different from each other in so many ways.

But Olaf loves to stand in front of the camera - and was good in taking directions as well working together, in which each one of us, inspired each other, and new things were created. There was no script. Just impulses and then we went along and looked where things were heading during the photo sessions.

Of course it was easier back then in 1993, compared to now. The age around 23-35 is wonderful, to work with other people in photography - since there are more dynamics involved and more "let's do it" behind.

Today with digital photography, things might be somewhat different in terms of patience and attitudes, though. People sometimes seem to "want it all - and immediately". As if there is no effort behind, or they just don't think beyond their local horizon, that there might perhaps be serious work involved other people have to invest for them, into getting images great. But not much thought of that is wasted - and that's sad, because it gives an indication that gratitude isn't a top priority in people's minds today. People who perhaps are too much into themselves ?

I consider that to be a human failure of the ego which has been curled far too much - which in the mean time has takes almost all the space in people today. But your mileage may vary.

 

Slower (and more relaxed) in a good way

Back then, everything was much slower. In a good way ! For example, you didn't photo results immediately. It took time - especially like I did, developing and printing everything manually at home. Including developing color films, the contact papers and then finally the enlargements...

I would usually almost always orient myself onto the motives which I thought would serve me for photo competitions. I didn't make many prints of so called daily-life-kind of photography. They exist as negatives in the archives, but not many as a manual color prints.

Simply, because there was so much work involved, I wasn't able to make a print of every negative. For that, I would only do color contact sheets... having an overlook what's on the film, but I rarely worked with daily-life images in the darkroom.

 

Photography, darkroom prints and evolution of a PhotoDiary

¨It changed a little bit, when I started to write a Diary directly onto final developed color prints: first developed a 24x30 cm sheet of photo paper where an image covered half of the sheet. The rest of the white, i wrote on it with a pen (later i send it through an ink printer)

This way, I was able to find motivation to deal with "daily life" images for personal use, so to speak - as it all become more interesting. Images fitting to the thoughts I was writing down; situations and people involved in my life. (I have certainly 10 albums filled with such handmade prints + diary text. To be honest, I never look at them, I never read them).

Around 1998 I went over to write more and more on the computer - and stopped making prints in the darkroom. By 2001 I started to create the homepage version of my "PhotoDiary" and "OnMyMind" Diary. So, I stopped writing in total isolation in a book or computer.

Everything from around 2003 until 2018 only exist on my private computer, because I tend to clean up my Internet Diary from time to time. I feel that older fuzziness and bitching about past old relationship have become invalid - and are not meant to burden anyone involved. Those texts become private again. They are history, so to speak. It is never meant to stay there for "all the time". Because to me it feels like having an everlasting blame-game towards my older partners for decades. I don't see any progress in that, when people would read about what happened in my private relationship 20 years ago.

The old versions of my homepage, are not very user friendly given that our computers, screen sizes and style of navigation have changed quite a lot - which makes those old creations very small and iffy to navigate though. Plus that Adobe flash files don't work anymore, which means the once so essential background music, which was an essential part of my Diary, are practically all gone. They simply don't work anymore.

 

A Photo Diary which started in 1993

When I started to make color prints from color negatives - which was much easier than Cibachrome to get the colors right - it started a dramatic increase of output in the darkroom.

Since then, the medium has changed, but my diary is in essence built up the same principle. Before 1993 i did write a diaryby hand into books, but only in periods, starting in Berlin, the last months before I run away from home, back in Winter 1981/82, and then went to the authorities with the plea to get into an orphanage. Which then happened in Jan 1982 until 16 April 1984, one day before I went to Stockholm for good, on 17 April 1984.

That was 38 years ago.


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