I realize...

That this is a subject worth to dive deeper into, because it really has many secret doors and rooms hidden. The development within our societies, and especially the forces which deliberately steer today's gay guys through forces which in a more or less subtle way, makes us more and more "loose" it and turn into beings who consume people, rather then appreciating them by heart.

These forces I am speaking of, have been there of course for decades. It is no secret anymore that basically all Internet pron sites are owned by zionistic owners - and many of them now title porn films like "father and daughter", and family sex and that kind of bullshit. Subtle nudging at first, and then going more and more bold... While we, the goy, consume and consume - and do not really fully realize, that it does gradually shit our moral, our taste, and all the things that makes us tick - into direction of gradual subversion. Like an alcoholic, we don't admit it, or not even realize it. So, we always tell ourselves, we have it in control.

Do we ? Look around. The subversion are there, and there are going both deeper as well into the young ages. That doesn't mean everyone does it, but I see many phenomenas within the gay community, in which love and "vanilla sex", isn't enough anymore. Many want more, and more and more. Bolder. Tougher. And more screwed up. Look at the "ideals" that we get for every meal on the Internet, when we look at porn. How the guys look like today... and the utter shit they put out in terms of quality. It is sometimes abysmal. Watching videos of guys being so bored, lying naked in bed, fiddling with their iPhones, touching their dicks.

And we are supposed to get off on that ?! What kind of "sex" or "stimulation" is that ? it is of the crappiest kind, if you ask me. It's just a pity, when sex, arousal, fantasies and playfulness can be so incredible fun... but gets degraded more and more and more, like cheap McDonald's food, a stomach filler which afterwards make you feel kind of "urrk".

It's a pity. It is sad. And in the long run - you mind and soul is hungry. Never gets that hunger stilled, but makes it even worse. Like a drug addict hungry for more. And so we take the steps of more bolder sex "games"... which easily turn into something more extreme over time, and you find yourself not satisfied anymore.

That is subversion. It starts subtle. It ends up more extreme - but is called "more open".

I don't buy it all. I like open, but not if there is a secret / masked / hidden agenda attached, making people becoming like meat consumers, and it ain't enough. It never is. Doing that to each other, human beings, it is like an "entropy" of spirit, soul... and even body.

Also the ideals have become so... screwed up. How many times can you discern manipulated dick pix ? I see them a lot - but that's also because I have an eye for it. (both the dicks *grin* as well the techniques that being used)

Latest thing is distortion of the lower part of the body, making the dick look longer. Partially since today's mobile phones now have extreme wide angle lenses, but it also seems deliberately done - which in my eye as a photographer, looks pretty tacky. Well and then you get all the other types of manipulation. One of the most primitive ones are those, where the nude guy goes too close to the camera with his dick, pretending to be "huge". Do they over time, still have a sense of proportions, or are their senses dumped down.

This is what I mean with gradual dumping down the minds of people... it usually doesn't happen over night. It is something more subtle. But over time, let's say 10 years, there is a larger discernable difference in the behavior of people, in this let's say gay people which I am mainly speaking of - but I suspect this also colors many other groups in society, too.

When I look at nude images of guys from 20-30 years ago, it is almost pretty in their "innocence", in comparison to the absurd rawness many nude photos are done these days. I mean, back then the images weren't so driven, not so totally over the top. Or so incredible picture perfect. Yes, they did use certain types of hunks even back then - and we all drooled. But today, the creme de la creme of course enjoys almost absurdly picture perfect models - while the rest is more or less garbage and amateur pix, all kinds of taste.

But they all sort of... take away a lot of that, what makes beauty and playfulness into the inherent passion of watching beauti with your eyes, your senses, and if you like your balls.

I personally am not so connected between incredible beautiful look men, that it would make me horny - it often does not - or even on the contrary, turns me off (but that's me). Instead, I do of course enjoy the incredible beauty, because I love photography, I love the male image, face and body. But in more or less small portions. Such as the two males on page 105. Stunning to look at. But frankly I neither would want to have sex with them, nor would I want to marry or being boyfriend with them (even if I would be younger, I mean). It doesn't attract me with my balls. It is more visual beauty - and that's it.

My sexuality is actually, or has become, pretty raw and open. But at the same time, while I am more open in sex than ever before in my life, and a body who is more sexed than ever before - I do not indulge into stupidity or "hunger", running after men or guys, anyone and everyone (a phenomena i often see with older guys).

It's just not my thing. But my sex senses are refined, and when I for example have sex with myself and my fantasies, i have incredible "explosions" of horniness. So, it seems like many of my inner channels have finally become "free", compared to earlier years, where I did perform "open" sex, but did not feel free or open from the inside.

A bit difficult to explain. But it is nice to experience that in the age of 56, i have no problems with my sexuality - and the age doesn't scare me - at all ! On the contrary, I never never enjoyed to intense sex at times, like I did after 50.

If you think sex is over or has peaked after 40 - think again. It's bull. There is no limit, really. One of the fine aspects with age is, that you may realize that you are not as "restricted". What I mean is, that everything can be a lot more relaxed sexually.

Then of course there are personal flavors, which differ from person to person. I have never been the kind of like a robot throws himself on my knees for every cock that goes around. I have not changed in that regard, and many people's behavior turn me off - especially those who have this intense greediness and lousy behavior, as if everyone is sheer meat. And they cannot even enjoy their "prey", because while there are "at it", they are already in their minds busy searching for the next pray.

Boy, we gay's are really a fucking bunch of... not something to look up to, really. We can show outwards behavior like being brutal in our superficial hunger, cowards in our core, sissy or stupid in behavior, snakes in how we deal with things. We say one thing, and mean something else (or change our minds like the ever changing winds do). Honesty is put on a pedestal officially; heart, rainbow and tolerance and everytinhg - but reality we are a bunch of intolerant bitches, always in for our own interests and requirements.

So, we can really be incredible shitheads.

But that doesn't mean every gay man is like that. Of course not. But in the "underworld" of the Gay Worlds, we are not to be trusted, and I mean in many things not to be trusted. But I can only speak for the Gay's from the "world below".

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