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I thought this quote might make it more clearer, what I in depth really mean, when it is about the expression Discipline - which I do use from time to time. Earlier, let's say 20 years ago, I used to use the expression "soft Discipline" instead, because I never liked the "Prussian taste" in the word "discipline". It wasn't meant to be that very hard, harsh version - but the smoother, yet determined version of "discipline".
This quote from Castaneda however... brings it best to point !
In a way I can still learn from.
Failed from time to time
to actually understand discipline with greater depth and vision, as my ego tends to color and adapt the thought of "discipline", back to the more common, in my case Prussian roots and thinking, the more "cruel" version of disciple.
Carla & Paola
So, Castaneda's quote is a fantastic reminder of what Discipline actually can mean.
Funny... I have to think of Carla, Sal's and Mary's daughter - who face the world from a very different angle compared to what I did when i was in her age (she is now, i think 27, traveling though California, after having been out for months, crossing the Atlantic on a Sailboat, though the Westindian islands, lived with her rucksack on several of those Islands like Martinique, Guadeloupe, then Florida, then California... but a second hand car, working in people's houses... Carla did the most, with a spirit of a warrior, in the best sense as Castaneda describes above.
So fitting !
She approaches life from such a dynamic, open and creative way, that it makes my jaw drop. My words do not do justice, in no way.
So, when I read Castaneda's quote - I have to think of Carla !
As is Paola, cut from the same material. Which I find utmost fascinating... because it is so beyond what I have done, how i approached life in my personal past... so differently, so quirky, and so extremely ambivalent... with naive, extremely determined wishful thinking about the good in people. Reality is of course, that both parts of a whole exists; good and evil. It is how our realm is filled with. One cannot ignore one part of it - and you fall numerous times into the deep. And takes time to come out of it again.
But it was my choice.
I went the different kind of warrior path.
Awareness
It too lead to awareness, deeper from within mingling with the experience of the exterior life and the people within it. Although I do sound like a bitch from time to time - because, well... I am an older warrior now. I do not buy the shit that has gone into overdrive, and being publicly sold to us.
I just wish I had more sophisticated ways to express myself in English... My expressions and ways of writing in English have sort of stayed on the level of a personal Diary, even now. And I am aware of that.
For most of the time - I read almost everything in English. When I encounter elevated forms of English, my heart sings - which means I recognize good / elevated English, and it sounds like music to my ears. So, therefore I also know/feel and sense, that my English is not of that caliber *grin*
Plus that it often feels as if my writings are just a tiny fraction of who I really am in depth. Kind of annoying in hindsight, to be honest. When I write i feel often as if i just put myself into a tiny, tiny box... Again, in hindsight, I get that feeling.
Oh what the heck. It is what it is.
Sal perhaps is the person who knows me best beyond anyone else in this life. After all, we do share a very deep connection, truly something special - and we have done so for many years now. Which isn't so strange, when you love each other, and it works out so well as it has done for many years; you do get to know each other on a very deep level. Sal is made of that kind of stuff. And so am I - and that's probably why we developed this quickly together and went incredibly deep.
You can reach realms of mutual, deeper understanding together - which are rare places to visit.
The first time we met 9 years ago
Tomorrow on 9 Oct 2023 - it has been 9 years ago, when I met Sal on a park bench in the Bellini park in Catania - Sicily.
Imagine 9 years !
And that's coming from me *LOL*
I have not exactly been known for long relationships... |
