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Since I had this sneaking, stomach feeling - which sometimes affects me more than I'd like to admit - for example when something (more expensive like a lens or camera) I bought, turns out to be fucked up... That can (sometimes) make me feel paralyzed. Like being stuck in a limbo between ignorance, sneaking frustration, grinding anger and avoidance (e.g. not wanting to deal with it). I then tend to abandon... - put it in the corner, trying to pretend that i can "forget" about it (which, let's face it - is a lie).
Making a long story short instead
This time, I made a short process out of a potentially "long story". Immediately filing an errand at Panasonic, fixing a date for the lens to be picked up for repair - and make sure everything is in order, packaged and ready to be shipped. It didn't take long time; less than a half hour.
Bam !
Now that actually feels much better.
No griding feelings, but more of an active feeling; to do something about it. Instead of trying to avoid it. Regardless age, we all have our "children" inside of us. Not uncommon damaged children. And despite being older on the outside, we can still feel and act sometimes as if being hurt children.
That's the "funny" part of being a lot older - that we sometimes still can be ruled by rather infantile emotions, while being in an adult shell. It sounds weird - but believe me, it is far more common than ever before. I also would say, that many people have become "weaponized" though emotions that easily run high. I've never seen so many people acting out at even the smallest and most trivial things coming what reminds me of "atomic bomb-reactions" - totally over the top.
I try to learn, that even if my child inside of me, has its own emotions, ways to react which aren't really that mature or healthy - I really do try to deal with it, rather than ignoring it. And sometimes i make progress. And sometimes I fail. But it doesn't prevent me from trying again.
I know, this sounds... uhm, childish.
But adults are more than just one thing at the time. There is a lot of bubbling stuff deeper under the hood; some have a thin shell, other a harder one. In the end, it all is a matter of how honest to dare to be towards yourself; about your not-so-nice aspects in your personality.
It definitely helps to be very honest to oneself.
Because then, you have an honest choice; whether to choose to re-act / or instead choose to act. |
