Pinhole camera "Zero 2000" (6x6)

During my 3 week stay in Southern Turkey in March/April 2006 - i also took with me an analog pinhole camera, called Zero 2000. I used it a couple of times at the beach outside of Antalya, in a place called Lara (Turkey). It was the time of the Total Eclipse of the sun, in the end of March. I think it was the 29th of March. I always wanted to experience a total eclipse... and since i would turn 40, i thought i treat myself with a special vacation in a 5 star hotel complex. On credit *LOL*

Antalya also was the "closest" distance for me, thinking of Perry then living in Israel again... which was a very strange feeling. Like a loose ends, that never got a true ending. Like an unresolved ending, so to speak.

Funny, those honey traps.

It was - despite all the deep feelings - a connection that was doomed to fail. If not back then, then for certainty later on. Given the circumstances and devotions of a Zionist down to the grave. I wouldn't be on the same side, because how could I ever be.

I can't. Impossible. To me Zionist devotion is a death cult, which sacrifices humanity on the altar of greed, false superiority and subversion, deception and murder crimes.

So. Of course it was doomed. But my stupid heard didn't understand the full scope. Only partially. Now in 2025, i realize of course, that it all was dead before it even came alive.

Yeah. Good looks are deceiving, stupid Ralf.

The photo series however, where more innocent. They simply gave expression to the ambivalent feelings that i carried in my heart. When you long, and your heart still screams with longing - yet knowing that it is a false end. An open, dead end. One that doesn't have any happy ending. One you know, could never be fulfilled.

Not many years ago, I did have dreams about Perry. In fact, the whereabouts and feelings where very different compared to what my mind defends and states; in the dream there were no barriers. As if you were a spirit, and beyond space and time. And it was filled with love. Nothing else.

I remember that i was surprised how clean and honest those emotions towards Perry were.

I guess, there is a space in which - i assume as a spirit entity - the earthly matters we are so fond and loyal to - do not matter. Because we all live just one of many human life experiences

But once you return to the source, you realize in depth, that these are just one of endlessly many stories you have lived. They are part of the souls road to crystallize into something denser, focused and experienced in a real truth of existence. Beyond what eyes, ears and mind can understand from an earthly 3D understanding.

So. I leave it there.

It was just one human story. An episode. One of many.

The rest remains secret within me, regardless outer events, attitudes, opinions, etc. And sometimes images do tell a story, beyond the limitation of mind and fixed stances.


Page 18 • Year 2025