Too bad that i lost many details... of this dream.
It was exciting !
And quite scary, too.
In a Military State
I am living in a strange, strange country. Or in a strange situation - I don't really know which.
Looking around - the country reminds me of a military state. Certainly there was no war equipment visible around here, but the controls are rigorous, as are all the country's laws and regulations. It feels uncomfortable. For some reason, everything would run out in the future. That's why they have this control; to defend themselves to the extreme. Defending. Yourself. Against something that you know would happen anyway.
So, I am standing at a beach by the sea.
Reminding me of Cuba and/or Caribbean in some way. I see an elderly woman in her 40s or 50s dressed in light blue clothes. She is beautiful in the way people from that part of the world are beautiful, despite her advanced age.
The Woman at the beach

Here too, there is this kind of mood in the air, confirming that something is seriously coming to an end. Forever. The ageing woman confirms this to me, as well. I don't know if we spoke, but it was as if she said;
'Yes... one day it will end. And that's what's going to happen, will happen at any day now.'
No, she didn't really speak out loud. She didn't have to speak. We knew anyway, while I began to feel the gravity of it all. Also - the totalitarian state would come to an end.
It is like for a moment, when you are aware that you are very much alive. Maybe that realisation just before you die - you become extra aware. Or in a situation where, in a heightened sense, you not only become aware of life, but you understand in a very deep sense - really understand living.
At the same moment as you understand what it is like to die...
Reminded of the things that one would liked or dared of having done. What one would have liked to put right. Yet - life ends unexpectedly and irrevocably. Doesn't take into account any personal or worldly aspects or wishes. The end comes here and now - right in the middle !
An ending that cares neither for your sorrows nor your joys.
Independent of anything at all.
While standing at the beach
I realize that the end of the world is near. It is now a fact; and it would happen through the sun ! If i ever thought it would happen just like in a StarsWars film, I was plain wrong.
The sun appears to my left.
Almost ridiculous, I thought instinctively for a split second, the sun disc with its sunspots looked like a cut-out disc someone had superimposed, glued into a movie scene. It rotated slowly clockwise, but grew faster than my mind could think.
The sun disc passed me and everything just... ended.
I am getting washed away in what felt like blue water, as parts of blue touched my body. Those parts of my body that came into contact with the 'water', just being erased. Literally erased both in physical form as well of its mental existence. The parts of me, were no more.
Being gone.
Drawn into those strange waters; my existence disappeared from thought and body, realizing that I could not, or did not want to believe that it could be like this. As if a small part still wasn't able to grasp that moment of the happening. The here and now. But it was happening.
Pulled away by what looked like water; the blue at the end of the world. What grabbed me, wiped out my entire existence. Instantly transformed into non-existence.
I was gone.
Gone. |