Kind of strange
to think of it; that I really got to experience it with my own eyes. I could only dream of such things as a child in Berlin. (And never thought I would one day see any of those places). Or even living there at times, when vising Sal in Upper Nicolosi at the slopes of Monti Rossi, and further away, seeing (one time) Etna volcano erupting, right from the balcony.
To me... it is magic.
Having dreamed about such places, things and events. Later actually experiencing them. And it is still magic today when I walk into those memories, thinking abut them today.
It appears to be my ability to feel a lot of magic inside my being, and feel connected to all that what surrounds me, and my eyes experience. People. Places. Sights. Interactions. And sometimes the unspoken things, that connects people, yet are not outspoken - yet hover in the air. As if telling it's own stories, often more true than the words coming out of a mount. It is said, the spirit tells the true stoy - but you have to listen, and sensibility enough, to understand it (without influence of ego, which twists a story into something else).
What is happening among people today ?
Often I encounter, perhaps even trivial things or situations, where most people just pass by without seeing, without looking or being able to take things in (it seems). It often made me feel very lonely in life. It also creates situations, where I wanted to make people SEE. (take part, share, inspire others).
But ultimately though the latter decades, it seems to me that more and more people barely take notice of anything anymore. Going into one ear, and out on the other in less than a second. Everything becomes trivialized, dull and anti-magic.
Almost nothing moves people anymore !
I feel that it is... and i can't help it - highly unhealthy as it is utmost strange phenomena. I mean, symptoms of total indifference I consider to be a warning signal of that something fundamentally has gone wrong among people. I don't think I am making that up. I have heard similar stories with some people I have spoken to - leading into this subject: People have changed a lot lately.
It is - to be honest, quite scary.
It is also very confusing, making me wonder what purpose I have in life is - today, I mean. Because honestly - I don't know how to handle it; what to do with it. How to encounter and react to it. Or just letting is pass. At the same time, i see that, sense that on daily basis - and it makes me feel like a stranger. As if i have landed in a different book, film or planet.
How is this even possible ?
Since 2020
I have certainly become far more reclusive and don't really share so much of impressions with other people. Feeling sometimes that it is a waste of time and energy, resulting into a sense of disappointment. (That's for me to bear, i don't blame others for that). It doesn't have to lead to disappointment - so that is the reaction of my inner child, and not anyone else's responsibility.
But outside of that aspect - it is still strange. Everything that is happening since 2020.
From the inside when I meet or just observe other people - it feels like... encountering closed doors. Like a psychic wall or something. Where rooms used to be open and friendly minded - as a normal human being - i often only sense a vast ocean of indifference. As if something has gotten got detached. Lost.
Unlimited Egos on pedestals
On top of that, I am not sure if i always react in a polite way. I sometimes feel I've gotten more irritated. Or at least that is how i feel inside, even if i don't take it out on people. Ultimately that is a sign of confusion and insecurity in myself, I would say. That I don't know, what to do with that so many people have become so changed, so indifferent, shallow and dull. That people also gotten hyper sensitive to any kind of microscopic differences - and will attack (or loath you with scorn in their voices) by making strange down-looking comments. Wisdom, and insight are absent - while the common Egos are setting themselves on sky-high pedestals. Their cowardliness on the other hand, seems unlimited. Not to mention the vast ocean of ignorance, is exhausting.
Boy, what a 'feat'.
Clearly a WTF moment, observing/ hearing the BS from others.
Makes me think of Bush Jr, who once said in 2001 "you are either with us, or against us". End of the story. That type of style. Nothing goes in between.
I don't say it, because I feel "elevated" looking down on other people. I say it more in the sense of that I feel lost at times - and don't know what to do...
So, that magic of life and the many nuances in between when watched with keen senses; the inherent experience of listening with open ears, wide eyes and a glowing heart - feels kind of lost on most people today. Or is consumed for their brief ego pleasure, and then spit out into a vacuum; No bridges built. No connection maintained. No vibes, what so ever.
It makes no difference anymore to share things with other people. As if energy is swallowed into a black hole of indifference.
Not even giving off a fart.

As a child
I was endlessly fascinated by those large volcanoes and their stories, like Etna, Vesuvius, Stromboli and the Campi Flegrei (Phlegraean Fields) near Pozzuoli, west of Napoli. And I've been to them all, even lived there for brief moments during vacations and visits. In the mainstream media you barely got any info on volcanic eruptions in the world - those small little notes were rare.
I felt so hungry for more information about volcanoes. |